Do u guys like #puritans? Do u like the pilgrims and churning butter by hand? Do u like rampant STDs? Especially #syphilis? Then I’m sure u love the Lumineers. This band is famous for their post-puritan image, and antebellum music videos in which they showcase their personal brand: ‘Old things and kind of dirty clothes and other old shit’.
|Former lead jug blower of the Lumineers, doing crossover branding/promotion for the ADA |
The Lumineers got their start way back in 2005 as the stunt doubles for Arcade Fire. Faced with debilitating shin splints from his famed second-set ‘stage stomping’, Arcade Fire lead singer Cody Tinkleton made the difficult decision to begin auditioning stand in dead-ringers to take some of the stomping off his hands. When future Lumineers lead singer Patches Scrappersberry came in for his audition, the two colonially-branded singers hit it off immediately.
|The Lumineers first promotional shot|
We obtained an exclusive transcript of Patches and Cody’s first meeting. It is excerpted below:
|They went on to talk about different types of cobbling, and their favorite/least favorite indian tribes |
The meeting between Patches + Cody has been compared to the rumored meeting of Paul McCartney and John Lennon in NYC way back in like the 90s. That’s how important it was. And Cody was so impressed with Patches that the pair entered into an agreement to put together an entirely new band based on the puritan-rock brand perfected by Arcade Fire.
Cody auditioned some females for the new band, because females are an essential ingredient for post-colonial pre-industrial pre-Edison farm rock. Cody also hired a wardrobe specialist to make sure that Patches and company had enough old-fukin clothes.
Then they waited until they could all afford to rent a covered wagon and buy enough oxen to traverse the oregon trail to Georgia and film the Lumineers first video. That process took six years, and so in 2012 we were finally treated to the first video from the hot new pre-polyester post-bubonic plague trio.
|Patches with the first official scroll of Lumineers lyrics|
Now for the bread and butter. We know why you come to the Lounge, and we are going to give it to you. You have come to expect insightful and pertinent reviews of the music YOU care about. So allow me to begin.
The Lumineers first album, “Gone to kill some Injuns with my Bow” (2012), released on indy label Laughing at the Small Starving Irishmen
, puts weight on the throttle and doesn’t take a break for fresh air until the listener is running stride-by-stride with Patches’s antique vocal presence.
|Lumineers debut album|
Standout tracks include “Do u Know a Good Amish?” and “Has the Cow Starved Dead (on this Dreadful Winter’s Morn)”. Patches and female Patches harmonize on various tracks. The other guy plays some instruments, as well. On bonus track “I’ll make U my Yankee Doodle Bride” Patches’ smooth vocals bring to mind Barth Tromthegood (famed bard of the Santa Maria who perished of scurvy on the fateful journey to the new world) when he sings:
"O hath you your chastity? O hath you lain with the bearded theif? O I’ll pay your father a pence - and 12 shillings nay 12 gold! - if you Yankee Doodle marry me and together we grow old! (Hoorah Hoorah Hoorah!)"
I could go on and on about the other standout tracks. I especially loved “I Would 4Go Rumspringa 4U” and “My Pony has a Rotten Cyst”. But I’ll leave these discoveries to you, faithful readers.
Until next tuesday, please enjoy this live version of the Lumineers’ “Mary and her Bonnet full of Cloves”:
Official review: 10 out of 10 Buttersnips. Swag People out.